Musings on Dating, in Law School and in General

My fellow classmate and intern, as well as prolific blogger Cato, of Logos Over Pathos recently wrote an insightful piece that nicely sums up the first year law school experience. I won't rehash most of it, as I believe he did a wonderful job. I will expound further on one point he made, though - relationships.

Relationships have never been my forte. I've never had one last longer than a month or two. I have found this is usually due to a "like" imbalance - either I like the guy more than he likes me, or he likes me more than I like him. Opposites may attract, but I think the "like" factor has to be pretty well balanced for a relationship to work out. Add the pressures and time crunch of law school and things get messier.

I was in a relationship at the beginning of law school. It was a fledgling relationship, and I ended it about three weeks after school started. No, not because all my free time was being eaten up by studying, reading, and outlining. In fact, I'm pretty good at balancing my time and responsibilities, especially if something is high-priority. Rather, the more I got to know this person, whom I shall call Jealous, the more I realized he was, wait for it, jealous, and even a bit paranoid. I remember going to a baseball game with a (male) friend from college (that I had planned long before I was dating Jealous) and receiving numerous texts from Jealous inquiring as to my whereabouts, etc. I am far too independent to be with someone so insecure and untrusting that he feels he had to check up on me during a three hour Red Sox game.

Anywho, fast forward a bit. I will admit, I got sucked into the vortex of school and work and didn't socialize with many people outside of my study group. I am guilty of having massive crushes on guys and then not acting on them out of fear of rejection. I tend to be very much an introvert when I'm first getting to know people (until I get to know them well, then I never shut up) and tend to not make first moves. In addition, my mother is harping on me to find a boyfriend ("Is it that hard to find a nice Irish Catholic boy at law school in Boston?"), like it's as easy as going to Target to buy a bottle of pretty new nail polish, is not helping.

But they say one of the best ways to find a significant other is to pour your time and energy into... yourself. Numerous magazines very scientific sources I've flipped through on the elliptical read say that you need to be comfortable with yourself before you can be comfortable with someone else. And they can't all be wrong (well, maybe Cosmo's not that trustworthy, but surely Oprah can be believed). So I've been pouring my energy into things that make me happy, such as reading and my newfound hobby of running, and basically trying to stop thinking about my single-ness altogether (although it's hard every time I see a cute ADA in court...)

Several of my friends survived 1L year with their relationships intact, so it can be done. That being said, I probably won't start actively looking anytime soon. What will be will be. I'm not even 23 yet, so there's plenty of time ahead of me.